Contemplating Identity and Motherhood

I have been focusing a lot of my energy to speak to new mothers and I wanted to speak to all of you who are in this stage in your life where you want to build a family or may feel pressure to create this next stage of your life. 

This post is for those of you who maybe are struggling with who you are currently and how this will fit into this new lifestyle. This is for those of you who may know this is something you want for yourself but keep getting stuck in the process and feel there are roadblocks and can’t seem to understand why. Becoming a Mother is a huge step, and can often bring up insecurities within yourself as well as create moments where you think about your own childhood and letting fear of how your parents interacted with you and not wanting to repeat these patterns or may be feeling disconnected from the idea of parenting due to your own experiences. I want you to know you are not alone, deciding if you are ready for a child is something that many of us face. 

It takes courage to step into this space and will challenge yourself in a way you never have before. This fear and uncertainty come from spaces that need healing in order to move forward with ease. These are areas within yourself that need to clear in order to create a safe space for you and your new chapter.

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1. I want you to dig a little deeper and look within yourself to see what areas are holding you back from this transition into a family and yourself as a mother. (Is it fear of repeating the same patterns of your own childhood? Is it fear of not having your independence? Is it fear of not knowing how to be a mother or the uncertainty of this step? )

2. Pick the fear that stands out as the most intense one and focus on healing this one step at a time. Ask yourself is this fear truth or is it self-doubt? Do a burn and release on this fear. Examine what comes up for you as you write. Intentionally Release these old beliefs and choose to move forward in trust. 

3. So much of stepping into this next stage is about owning who you are inside with confidence, compassion, and love. It takes building a strong foundation within yourself, to hold this shift in your life as you transition into a family and a mother, so begin to work on this. Make yourself expansive, allow yourself to be whole within. Make a decision that is in alignment with your truth and stand firm in it. Speak up when others cross your boundaries, honor your needs. These are all things that will help build this strong foundation and give you the courage, and confidence to move forward into building the family you desire.  

4. If you feel there is deeper healing to do, then create space for this, whether that’s self-guided work, or finding a therapist to work through it, or a life coach, or other modalities. Honor the healing you need. 

Upon doing this work and shifting into this new stage, you will create expansion in your life. It will force you to grow in ways you never thought possible, you will find strength in moments you thought you didn’t have any. The joy and love you once felt will be immensely greater than you ever thought possible. Your ability to step into spaces you once feared will flow more easily and you will find faith through moments that will push you. You will look into this new chapter and begin to feel comfortable and you will begin to shift into this new role and create healing from within as you do this. Empower yourself, build this new foundation, I believe in you!